Share

A giving and receiving of conversation, music, food and/or other experiences as a shared interaction with others. 

Growing

An ever expanding, limitless attracting of people and experiences who resonate with our community and our intentions for our community and ourselves

Emotionally Intimate

We desire and are able to feel deeply into all our pleasant and unpleasant emotions. We are able and willing to express our feelings to ourselves and others with literacy. We have formed a deep relationship with our feelings. We have developed a higher level of Emotional Intelligence, an ability to intellectually describe what we and others are feelings.

Exploration

We are keen to see, sense and feel our edges of comfortability and beyond. We take courage to navigate beyond these edges, again and again, growing and learning in our shared experiences.

Our Shadow - “Dark Night of the Soul”

Our “shadow”, also called “dark night of the soul”, speaking broadly, is any aspect of myself that I don’t know about. In a way, it is hidden from my knowing of who I AM. I am only aware of what I am willing to know about myself. They may be sinister aspects, but they may be not. They may be hurtful behaviours, they may be not. They may be secrets that only we know about ourselves, they may be not. Our shadow may be past experiences, patterns of behaviour, habits, inner critic, inner saboteur, emotions that arise which we find unpleasant, yet somehow we find ourselves stuck in a loop, anxiety (fear of feeling fear), depression (sad of feeling sad), guilt (fear of feeling shame). These elements may give birth to addictions, vices, hurtful behaviours, aspects of ourselves which were “hidden” from ourselves, that we may hide from others. Sometimes we are ashamed of these parts of ourselves, so we tend to hide them - lest someone finds out about our “secrets”.

When our shadow is revealed to us, and we don’t like what we see and feel, we RESIST loving these aspects of ourselves. When another person’s shadow is revealed to us, and we don’t like what we see and feel, we also RESIST loving these aspects of ourselves - the collective We. Our resistance (difficulty) to loving these elements of ourselves - the I & the We, is the fundamental core of what drives our “lack of self-worth” and “lack of self-love”. We find that the more we love parts of ourselves we don’t like, the more we love the contrasting perspectives of others.

We ALL have things we don’t know about ourselves, no matter how much “self-inner-work” we have done. So in a world ruled by our hidden shadow, we project hurt everywhere.. and when these aspects are illuminated (shadow coming into light), it’s only then, that a choice becomes apparent to us: do we choose to do nothing, or do we choose to do something different?

Inner Work / Shadow Work is about:

(1) deliberately discovering aspects of ourselves that we previously unaware of (our shadow - dark night of the soul), possibly trauma, conditioning (i.e. experiences and learnings that have shaped our patterns of behaviour), hurt we may be inflicting on others, or unlocking gifts, skills that we didn’t know existed

(2) acknowledging and knowing that we have a choice of whether choose to accept or reject these parts of ourselves

(3) making a courageously brave choice, to embrace these aspects of ourselves, no matter how much resistance arises - embracing forgiveness of myself where I have hurt others, of others where they have hurt me, and of all who continue to hurt each other (holy trinity of forgiveness - I / YOU / WE )

For a deeper look at what our Inner Shadow is and what is Shadow Work is, have a listen to excerpts from a talk presented by Chris Cheung for the Altered States of Consciousness (ASC) group based in Sydney Australia in January 2016. Although Chris uses slightly different language now, the information still remains relevant.

Wholistic Embodiment  

Recognising that our human experience is made up of so many different parts. A deep understanding, acknowledgement that we are interconnected to everything in this universe and all the voids in between. That without 1 expression light or dark, we would exist differently or cease to exist. That one breath in the Amazon impacts every other being here in the now, past and present. An integration, alignment of the bodies as we know them now:  the spirit, mental, heart, gut, sensual, sexual. That the inner work is never completed, that that is the journey of experience as it is, the body as a temple, as a vehicle for a creative experience and creative expression.  
A melding of the spiritual teachings, to practice them, to live them in the day-to-day, in the workforce, on your holidays, at family dinners, in each conversation held, walking on the streets, without 'trying', without 'persona'. Remembering who you are, who we are, walking the path of authenticity, not caring about what anybody else thinks about you, but not numb to their ability to hurt or to shame us either.

not so Safe Space

“ An environment where we feel a sense of security, safety from attack, ridicule, shame, disgust, and other unpleasant emotional projections from other people, so that we can allow ourselves to feel more vulnerable, more open, and share ourselves more - to explore our edges. We recognise that exploring our edges & beyond may feel antagonising and unsafe. however, We see incredible transformation potential when we dance on our edges - and our intention is to hold this space. ”

OUR LIGHT: We recognise that everybody has a norm of awareness that is our safe comfortable zone. This is what we name our light. If we stay in this space, we do not transform.

OUR DARK: There are many things we don't know about ourselves, nor the world within and around us and this is our shadow. We WILL be emotionally triggered - defensive, offended and hurt - should we venture into these spaces.

OUR EDGE: We have an edge between our light and dark - a boundary between safety and our fear of the unknown. Through conversational artistry, we explore another's comfortable safe light areas, so that we may accept, acknowledge & identify with another's edge. 

EXPLORING THE UNSAFE: We recognise that exploring our dark will feel antagonising and unsafe. However, we see incredible transformation potential when we dance on our edges - and our intention is to hold this space. When venturing into the unknown, it’s an INEVITABLE CERTAINTY that we will feel hurt. And THIS is our EMPOWERMENT OPPORTUNITY to STAND UP, SPEAK UP for ourselves with HEART & FORGIVENESS - which is a core part of our transformational healing.

When we TAKE THE COURAGE to SHOW UP & EMBRACE the fears of the unknown and become intimate with our dark, this is our transformational potential.

Vulnerability

A feeling of a desire to share deeply, experiences, desires that may be humiliating, 'taboo', shameful, critiqued, criticised, patronised, condescended, and other unpleasant emotional projections from others and in doing so, release walls of shame, release walls of pride, fear, personas, and engage in a deeper relationship with self and others. It is often associated with negativity "We're vulnerable to be hurt. We're vulnerable to letting our walls down, allowing for attack"

Deeper Relationships

As opposed to a superficial relationship, one begins to see into their own personas, removing and sharing their onion layers, going deeper into their raw core authenticity. The 'art of 'not giving a f#$%', but doing so with heart-centred emotional resonance, empathy. A de-numbing of commonly numb emotions of sadness, shame, fear and anger. To share how we feel, truly, with emotional literacy, then to be able to be intimate with our unpleasant emotions, emotional intimacy and to find a way to connect these emotions to our heart, so that our expression of behaviour becomes heart-centred no matter when, no matter how we get triggered. To provide our partners a safe space to share. To allow ourselves space to breathe into and explore  and become intimate with unpleasant emotions. Then to process them, accept them, acknowledge them, forgive them, share them.

Empathetic Conversational Artistry

To demonstrate a level of relational artistry that requires emotional intimacy and literacy, an emotional resonance with others throughout the whole spectrum of emotions, and an ability to express our emotions with heart. A conversation that endeavours to uphold a safe space and explores and respects of another's shadow edge through questioning rather than assumptions (unless offered, accepted or requested), yet one that isn't afraid to explore topics and observations that may seem "politically incorrect" nor emotionally charged. A conversation free of emotional projection, judgement (observations/assumptions/conclusions shared with an emotional charge - shame, disgust or fear), antagonisation and emotional weaponisation. 

Supportive

To provide our partners a safe space to share. To allow ourselves space to breathe into and explore  and become intimate with unpleasant emotions. Then to process them, accept them, acknowledge them, forgive them, share them. To feel, all the emotions with our partners, without turning to disassociation, numbing, losing presence, losing focus, running away or going into solution mode. To feel our partners and our own emotions truly, with emotional literacy, then to be able to be intimate with our unpleasant emotions (emotional intimacy) and to find a way to connect these emotions to our heart, so that our expression of behaviour becomes heart-centred no matter when, no matter how we get triggered.

Warm

An heart-centred openness that comes not from a persona, not from focusing on smiling, not from talking the talk, not from a focus on humour. It comes from a vulnerability we allow ourselves to share when we are being our raw authentic self. To share our feelings, our deepest hurts, deepest disgust, deepest shame, deepest fears, deepest sadness, deepest jealousy, our inner critics, our traumas and any element of ourselves that would be perceived by others or ourselves to be imperfect. Opening these up to criticism, shaming, judgement from others. And in sharing this, our walls of 'defense' are down and we let others into our inner sanctum.

Awareness

When we pay attention to what we observe, we begin to notice more, focus more and become more aware of everything around us and within us. Our consciousness seems to be more alert, to see more details, to feel expanded and interconnected, be more awake to remembering who we are.

Fun-Loving

Bringing back our inner child, who had limitless dreams, knew all their passions and desired nothing else but to follow their excitement.

Playful

Bringing back our inner child, who was ever so exploring, curious, creative, blissful, and pleasured.

Core Values

There are a base set of intentions we each have in the way we want to be treated, and how we want to behave with and toward others. These intentions are values that we hold dear to us and may be values such as integrity, honesty, sharing. Regardless of what they are, these may or may not be how we operate all the time. We may have differences between how we want to be treated versus how we behave towards others. Yet we strive know what we want, and to bring consistency to all our behaviours of our values.

Co-Creating Heart-Born Visions

Dreaming of a future, visions with heart, connecting and sharing these visions with others and heart-storming visions of the future with others, manifesting and sharing these with the world. 

Integrity

Behaving with open accountability to our honesty, truth, and our core values. 

Authenticity

Behaving with open transparency, to removing as many layers of personas we have created as a way of defending ourselves from being bullied, shamed, judged, blamed. An understanding that we may never fully be able to remove all layers of personas in our expression, but a real desire to do so. And should an unpleasant emotion arise in a conversation, to be able to call that feeling out.

Neutrality

We recognise that we may have a positive, negative and neutral perspective on a situation, an experience, information, conversation. There are moments, situations and conversations that we choose to relate with neutrality, non bias, fence sitting to be able to absorb and share as much of the spectrum of perspective experience as possible.

Emotional Weaponisation

We can really only feel emotions through our own body, not another person's, even though we may say - "I can feel your anger and sadness." In the same way, we can only perceive sight, sound, taste, smell, touch through our own body. However, unlike our 5 senses, we are able to feel sadness, anger or fear of another person, and we resonate with their emotions. Sometimes, this resonance may trigger us into feeling our own suppressed emotions, often in the form of our inner critic arising. It can be difficult to discern if the emotion we feel is ours (suppressed emotions), theirs, or both. Does it matter? Is an individual projecting their emotions (emotional projection) to another with the intention (often in unawareness / non-deliberate) of control or narcissism? This could sound like this: Mary: "Johnny, this is the 4th time I've had to repeat this to you. You need to cut the vegetables thinner. I don't understand why you don't listen to me. It's not hard" Mary has weaponised the emotions of shame, disgust and fear, she is projecting these emotions to Johnny, it is her narcissistic bullying attempt to control Johnny into doing something she wants done. Johnny may respond in 4 common ways (i) his inner critic rises and shames him, there's disgust and fear of making the same mistake again (ii) he goes numb and feels nothing, he has felt hurt too many times before and his defence is to go numb (iii) he expresses anger without heart - aggression toward Mary, he yells and becomes abusive (iv) he uses his anger-fire to stand up for himself and say "STOP" with heart and call out his hurt. Without Emotional Weaponisation Mary could say: "Johnny, would it ok to cut the vegetables thinner? I noticed last time when they were thicker they were undercooked. Thank you!!"

observational remarks versus Judgement (observations with emotional Projection (charge)

Consider these remarks:

(A) Johnny notices a person wearing green shoes. He says to Sally in a normal voice, without shame, disgust, fear "you're wearing green shoes". Sally, if she feels no existing emotional bias/charge to her shoes, she is aware of the colour of her shoes - it is not a shadow, it is not felt as judgement. Sally, if she hates her green shoes,  shamed, disgusted by them not matching her outfit, does have an existing emotional bias to her shoes - it is felt as judgement. So, is Johnny judging Sally? No. Note: You may replace 'green shoes' with an other physical observation - "large, small, heavy, yellow, brown, obese, long hair, etc". If we replace the "green shoes" with obese, or coloured skin/white, note that our society has already embedded an emotional bias to these physical observations. This is regardless if the observation/remark is a physiology condition/characteristic we are born with, or something about ourselves that we have the power to change. So if Johnny says in the same way "you're obese", Sally would highly likely have an emotional bias to this, it would be difficult to distinguish. Note also that in different countries, the same observations may have different emotional biases, e.g. China, being obese is a sign of abundance and wealth and in Japan, sumo's are highly distinguished. If Johnny judging? No. Does Sally feel judged - Yes.

(B) Johnny notices a person wearing green shoes. He says to Sally in a shaming, disgusted voice, "you're wearing green shoes". Regardless of whether Sally has an existing emotional bias/charge with her shoes, is Johnny judging? Yes. He gave an observation that came with an emotional projection - an emotional charge.

This confusion begins at an early age

Johnny age 4, notices that someone is very tall, or really large. He says to his mother unashamedly excitedly "mummy, mummy, look there's a tall/large/fat person". This is so natural for a child, to simply call out what he sees. His mother's reaction would likely be shaming, and disgusted "Johnny you can't say those things ever again, they're hurtful comments and you're judging!!" Johnny most likely takes on this shame. He carries this and every time in the future he sees a tall/large person - this may even be himself in the mirror, subconsciously his inner critic brings up shame - shame projected by his mother for not allowing himself to express himself. She watered down his fire. 

The shadowly side of today's political correctness, and high sensitivity to bullying has shamed shame, has shamed disgust - creating emotional cycles, confusion in many of us - there is no heart in this.

Conscious Beings

A sentient being who experiences and shares life as a creative expression of source.

Stronger Intimate Connection

An ever deepening relationship, that is lessening in conditions (towards unconditional), where trust (/betrayal) and respect (/pride) is neither earned nor lost, but those very words are unnecessary as the emotional charge behind them have been released. Emotional breakdown: Trust (hurt (trapped shame) + fear + anger + disgust) limitless; Respect (/pride) (hurt (trapped shame) + anger).

Our Pure Source-Divine-Great Spirit-God.

There is no definition we can give this. It is beyond, transcended, all meanings of thought, names and words. It is often misunderstood, because the moment we give it thoughts, it is already confused as it transcends thoughts.